I had a dream last night. The old house was falling down. The mice were gnawing holes in the floor. The od cats were sleeping. The young one drew near me. The Tarot reading showed a card "Death". This is the end, this is the end. And I love to see the old house collapse... Continue Reading →
Today is one of those days when your head feels heavier, eyes more sensitive. Maybe it's the wine yesterday or just tiredness of the long working week. The usual thing I'd do in the past was to sit with a pen and write as many "depressive poems", as I call them, as I could. Today... Continue Reading →
We live in very strange times. Times when having feelings, being emotional is considered anomaly. When you show your emotions, be it anger, happiness or grief, they call you a fool maladjusted to living in modern society. As if having emotions was something bad. Who and when decided that we must follow the mind, be... Continue Reading →
Brazen it out, brazen it out, deny it, delude yourself. Whatever you do, but the problem will still be there. I've sat at the computer with an attempt to write about the disconnectedness from feelings that is so common nowadays, denying the truth, fearing to fight for what you love, etc. While I was trying... Continue Reading →
Whenever I come across any article about healing from traumatic experiences, their authors stress the importance of accepting and forgiving; both yourself and the person who hurt you. According to various specialists, that's the most difficult part of the healing process. Lately, I've been having flashbacks of events from my life that I thought were... Continue Reading →
"I must have been a very unhappy person", I thought yesterday while listening to the birds singing outside. I wasn't aware of so many beautiful things happening around me. I was too focused on myself, my suffering and pain. I had a good reason for that, but somehow I got lost in my thoughts so... Continue Reading →
My life has recently slowed down. I have more free time, I do more things for myself. I don't spend most of my time at work. It doesn't mean I have less work to do, but probably my attitude has changed. I've always wanted to do everything the best I could. I gave a lot;... Continue Reading →
I don't have much opportunity to travel these days as my work occupies a lot of my time. However, I do try to take a break and go somewhere new. The Balkans have always been on my mind. The problem was that I considered this part of Europe rather wild and not easy to travel.... Continue Reading →
(November 2016) Morning reflections. Something has changed.  In me, I guess. Dancing no longer helps, nor does the alcohol. I eat, I drink, I sleep, I go to work. Everything seems to be automatic, though. Days go by, Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays... I hardly notice. Thoughts in my head. Thousands of thoughts per minute. None... Continue Reading →
Disappointments are always so awful tasting. They so hard to swallow and the bitter aftertaste stays in your mouth for long. Every time, no matter what happened. These are all the broken expectations, lost hopes and failures. These are the moments of hopelessness, despair and grief. They always follow great anticipation, hope and excitement. They're... Continue Reading →
Lusessita Kingsley 