I caught myself today
Feeling completely nothing
What a strange sensation
To not feel anything

No cramps in my stomach
No fear, no anxiety.
No butterflies in my stomach, either
No happiness round the corner, no laughter.

Have I died yet?
Or is just me being blocked?

I caught myself today
Being frozen in the moment
I couldn’t act
As if I felt something.

No moves, no steps
No chance of getting hurt
Tears won’t be falling, though
They dried long ago.

Have I died yet?
Or is it just me being blocked?

Not to see, not to feel
Not to get disappointed again.
Will it be like this from now on?
To not live, just to exist?

It takes one click, though
To break this spell
It takes so little and so much
At the same time.

Have I died yet?
Or will I find the reason to stay?

© Lusessita Kingsley 2018


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