Take a deep breath. Breathe out. Repeat. And again. Try to keep focused.
Count to ten then breathe again and stay focused.
I keep telling myself this all the time these days. It’s difficult. My mind keeps drifting away from today’s reality. I am already thinking about all the changes that are ahead of me. It’s always so exciting to start something new, trust the magic of beginnings and just let it happen. In my case it’s going to be the fifth beginning. Quite impressive. I have big problems finding my place on this planet and I throw myself in different directions to check where it is said to be the best for me. East, West, North or maybe South?
I’ve been everywhere, I guess. And it’s always the same story. After any adventure in a foreign country, I keep coming back home. By home I mean my country and the city I’ve lived in the whole life. Maybe my search of a perfect place is in fact an attempt to realize that I have already gotten one. It’s funny I say this. I never liked living there. Big city, everyone in a hurry, millions of people on the streets, noise, pollution. I hated it, in fact. I wanted to get out of there, I couldn’t feel happy there.
So I moved to an isolated island, the size of the biggest city was just an average small city in any other country. “I will find my peace here”, I thought. Isolation, nature, province, far from big city hustle and bustle. Perfection, it seemed. It was my conscious choice to go to that specific place. I had already been there before and I was left awe-inspired. I couldn’t stop thinking about moving in there. It was just the oasis I needed much in my life at that time.
When I look back at my life then, it is just obvious I couldn’t have made a better decision. Exhausted and disappointed without any wills to continue the life I was having, I simply escaped to the island. Don’t get me wrong. I honestly didn’t have a bad life, quite the contrary. I was having a very comfortable life in the capital with a lot of entertainment, multi-culti society, good job and money to continuously make my dreams come true, one after another. People get used to a comfort living. So did I. Not having to worry much about tomorrow, I was leading a very merry life, with a lot of travels and people filling my free time, attending various events, getting promoted at work. But there was always something missing… I realized what that “thing” was much later, there in the island…
© Lusessita Kingsley 2018